Swagman VS Hornyman
“Swagman wherever you are, don’t be hating on the horn man because i'm a hornyman didn’t mean to 9/11 your building last week.” Horny Man said jerking off his massive dong. He was staring at himself in the mirror, his veiny blue gatorade covered cock spewing semen all over the counter. He passed out and fell out his hotel window. Killing him immediately. Swagman and Chris Pratt were being swag in da club, with Benny, George Washington, MLK, Gandhi, Zak Bagans, Uncle Grandpa, Twomad, Ulysses S Grant, Malcom X, and Shane. Then a masked man with his cock out, ran in and killed everyone except, Benny, Swagman and Chris. He ran away like a pussy. Swagman ran out after him but he was gone. Goo on the ground spelling out “Horny never dies.” Swagman collapsed to his knees and screamed. Chris patted him on the shoulder and with inhuman reflexes, grabbed Pratt’s arm and flipped him over his shoulder and pulled out his Israeli Jesus, shooting him in the head, splattering his straight brains on the ground. It was now Benny and Swagman against the world. No one wanted Swagman to help after he killed Jack Black. Swagman and Benny went back to their super cool home, so Benny can plan and Swagman can play Girls’ Frontline (His favorite game) swag. After a long time planning there was a knock at the door. Swagman picked up his Israeli Jesus .50 and shot through the door, killing the person on the other side of the door. It was Osama Bin Laden, his face was unrecognizable because swagman swagged out and swag killed him. But he went back to playing Girls’ Frontline. Benny called up his good pal Mason aka Poopman. Mason broke through the door, Swagman shot but missed. Then Osama got up and super tackled him through the top floor window. Killing the two, but JT Music and Patfan walked in and sat down. Since Benny called them as backups. “Hi I’m Patfan8326.” Patfan said and front flipped and sat down next to Swagman, playing MW2 on his phone. Benny and JT planned out a huge job, to lure Hornyman in. Swagman paced back and forth, thinking of everyone he was going to avenge. JT ran outside to set the plan in motion, they hacked into Hornyman’s history, finding out his favorite “actresses, cartoon, anime girls, and animal human things.” JT had to go kidnap thousands of things, putting them all in different warehouses, with different people guarding the tied up, people, creatures, and chinese cartoon girls. Hornyman was at his house drinking blue gatorade, watching porn, then a breaking news broadcast popped up on his screen, Bulldozer of Fallujah was standing behind a tied up man in a dark room. Hornyman’s jaw dropped, it was his favorite furry artist @OhBoyItsBubbles on twitter. Bulldozer used his BMG M2 to kill Bubbles. He was nothing but a foot now. Hornyman screamed but continued to watch. JT walked up to the camera and screamed into it. “Hornyman come fight or they all die faggot!” JT screamed and shot another tied up person. It was Shadman, Shad was now dead and JT pulled out his phone. Then the broadcast ended, Hornyman’s jaw was down to the floor. But he went back to watching porn. Since he was already over the people dying. JT called someone, his most professional boy GamingDragon. Will picked up and called him a racial slur then got in his Benz Typ 27/70. Turning on his gramophone, Rock or Bust composed by Mozart playing, but it soon switched to the AC/DC version. Will sped down the highway going 257 miles per hour. He saw a Jacksepticeye fan, pulling out a C96 and shot the ten rounds into the faggot. He drifted and did a flip and landed in the warehouse, killing at least 200 people, creatures and cartoon things. He got out of the car, and Shane hopped out of the engine, still alive from the shooting somehow. The two stood front and center in front of JT. “HAHAHAHAHAHA RICHYTOFEN SHANE IT'S JT MACHINIMA!” Will said and Shane screamed and smashed a glass. Then stomped on the glass with his bare feet. Screaming and crying CRUNCH CRUNCH MUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH. Shane picked up the glass and started throwing at random people. Slitting their throats with the cool fine china, he tried to fight Dan but Dan killed Shane, ripping out his innards then hanging him from the roof with them. “racial slur hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.” Will said and JT screamed and collapsed. “WHY DOES GOD PUNISH THE GOOD!” JT screamed again and shot a random person, out of anger. Hornyman had to get on his crimefighting gear. Running out his window and down the side of his apartment building. He swung from building to building, his cum working as a grapple. Swagman, Patfan, and Benny, were sitting down on the couch and watching Swagman playing Girls’ Frontline. Hornyman jumped through the window, throwing a spiked dildo at the three. It hit benny in the chest and knocking him out of commision. “Oh shit I gotta hide.” Patfan said and evaporated to a hospital with Benny. Swagman turned off his phone and put it in his pocket. Hornyman stood there in a fighting stance. Swagman pulled out his Israeli Jesus, flipping it around and doing cool tricks with it for approximately 4 minutes and 53 seconds. Hornyman clapped but got punched out the window by Swagman’s shadow clone, Horny screamed and used his horny spear to drag him out the window as well. Swagman bled, something he forgot he could. Swagman shot the spear out of him. Landing flawlessly on his KIA Optima. Swagman and hornyman fought for hours, destroying buildings. Swagman swung and swung, damaging hornyman, hitting a big combo. MEGA DAMAGE, Swagman round win. Round 2 fight! Swagman looked around confused then shot a man with a megaphone with his Iraeli Jesus. Going back to fighting, Swagman had the upperhand since he wasn’t bullied in highschool, which him just thinking that severely hurt Hornyman. Hornyman was beaten and bruised, crying because of his highschool memories. Swagman walked over, kicking him in the teeth. Knocking all of them down his throat, then he just continued to kick him in the head. Will was sitting with JT killing more prisoners, they were playing a fun game called “Close your eyes and fire in a random direction” but they didn’t close their eyes. Will beat the ever living shit out of a creature in a fursuit. “Fuck you fuck you” Will said “Calm down homie damn.” JT said, will then turned around and shot a person who was sneaking up on JT. It was Onision he fell on the ground yelling. “You motherfucking piece of shit!” He had a seizure and evaporated, JT thanked Will and shook his hand, looking over to the camera and smiling brightly. It was put in the papers the next day and then BAMMAM. Hornyman and Swagman bursted through the warehouse fighting and screaming at each other. Horny man grabbed Swagman’s hand, but swagman squeezed it so hard, his pimple covered hand exploded. Pus and blood spewing everywhere. Dumb bitch swung his other hand then Par from Sabaton jumped down from the cieling. Shiroyama playing live, since the entire band of Sabaton rose up from the ground, Par chopped off Hornyman’s arms then flew away, playing the katana like a guitar. Then through the hole in the warehouse, a bunch of Joker stans broke in. Their leaders, Joker (Joker 2019), Joker (The Dark Knight 2008), and Joker (JT Machinima 2019), JT, Will, and Bulldozer had to shoot at the onslaught, killing millions but The Bulldozer was eventually overpowered. The Bulldozer was torn limb from limb. Swagman and Hornyman jumped up to a catwalk, fighting intensely, blood spewing everywhere. JT and Will were on stage with Sabaton, shooting as they continued to play Shiroyama. A fiend grabbed Will and started to drag him, but Par chopped off the fiends arm. Will and JT had to commit Genocide. As the crowd got smaller the three Joker’s pushed up. Hornyman grew arms and started spinning at him, Swagman was hit hundreds of times, he quickly did a frontflip kick, knocking hornyman down to hell, Swagman dove through the ground, after Hornyman. Down in hell the fighting got more intense, Swagman decked Hornyman and Hornyman screeched out his Hornyman scream. They fought for hours Swagman was finally out of breath, this was Hornymans chance to kill him. Hornyman ran forward and upper cutted Swagman, knocking Swagman into lava. Swagman’s life flashed before his eyes, recounting memorable moments in all of his stories. He fell in the lava screaming in agony and pain. Hornyman got a little chuckle out of him dying. He sat down and put his toes in the lava. Putting on some cool shades and sitting back with a brewski. Then the music started, the DOOM theme. Doomguy walked out of his domain, walking slowly up to Hornyman. He grabbed and picked him up, turning him to face him, Hornyman had fear in his eyes. He knew he was gonna die, Doomguy punched through his chest and ripped him in half. Throwing his bottom half in the lava, Hornyman whimpered and cried as he tried to crawl away. Doomguy picked him up and threw him like a football, a skeleton wearing NCR ranger armor jumped out grabbed him and ripped off his head. Killing hornyman. Up on earth, Dan and JT finished killing the Joker stans. Three main Jokers were left, they were much more powerful than JT, but Dan outpowered them. But there were more so he would lose. They had to think fast, with Swagman dead, they had no one else. Dan had an idea, they trucked past the Joker’s hopping in his car. The two quickly sped off, the Jokers hopped in their faggot mobile and chased after the two. They had to go to Miami in 1983. Dan sped up so fast he time traveled to 1983. They did a burnout and disappeared. The Jokers were baffled just completely mindfucked. They soon just turned around and drove back to the warehouse, to listen to Sabaton play Shiroyama still. In 1983, Dan had cool retro 80’s clothes on now, jamming out to Break The Rules, on the Payday 2 Soundtrack. Bopping they heads, they hurried to Tony Montana’s Mansion. Dan actually parked normally, he buzzed in and used the secret code. “Nutz” the gate swung open and they ran, trying to get to Tony’s office quickly. They walked in the house cleaning their shoes on the black rug before running up to his office. The door swung open and Tony was dolphin diving on his desk, snorting coke. He did a backflip and landed in his chair. Putting up his feet, and smiling. “Hello Danithan, you need my help?” Tony asked and threw cocaine into a fan, spraying it everywhere in the room. “Yes come with me now” Dan said “Aight” Scarface said and grabbed is cool gun The three ran to Dan’s car and went back to the future. They all went back and hurried back to the warehouse, it was nighttime, and the beautiful guitar solo of Break the Rules playing. They pulled up to the warehouse, getting out slowly as the beginning part of Break the Rules plays over the scene. The beginning buildup of the song playing as they got closer. The three were shrouded in darkness, looking through a hole in the wall they stared at the three Jokers, the music stops after it plays for 3 minutes and 34 seconds. “Hey, knock knock Mother trucker.” Tony said and shot his grenade launcher, it exploded and killed the weakest of the three. Joker (Joker 2019), when he shot the grenade the music started up again, JT Joker ran at Tony, but Dan tripped him, making him fall forward and hit his dumb stupid fucking face off the concrete, giving him a concussion, JT Joker couldn’t get up and he got his head stomped in. He fucking died as he lived, a fucking outcast faggot. But they didn’t know the consequences. JT Music’s head started to shake, then it exploded, soon as JT Joker was killed by his head being smashed. Dan and Tony did not care, it was a two for one deal, The last joker was facing away from Tony and Dan. “I’m sorry D'angelo, for being a dumb doofus.” The Joker turned around, His mustached face, his stupid fucking face, his stupid fucking fanny pack. It was Uncle Grandpa. Dan fucking hated Uncle Grandpa. Dan shot Uncle Grandpa but his body absorbed the bullet. Uncle Grandpa got stronger. Uncle Grandpa was really close to the holeway to hell. Uncle Grandpa Stood there and waited, as Dan and Tony planned. Uncle Grandpa inched closer, he was overencumbered. While this happened, a can of monster with a rope attached came up through the hole, A Ghetto Christmas Carol coming through the hole. Uncle Grandpa is retared so he didn’t hear it. That’s when the skeleton from earlier jumped up from the hole, Ghetto Christmas Carol blasting he wrapped the rope around his neck and kicked the monster down, dragging him down to hell. It killed him immediately. Dan and Tony danced all night. Woo hoo they had dancing fever. They danced for hours “Woo hoo yeah yeah woo hoo yeah yeah.” Dan screamed so happy to dance and jig about. Sabaton rose back up, playing Shiroyama, they also danced and jived about woo hoo. The Skelly Swagman danced as well his bones rattling. Woo hoo yeah yeah. Then BANG, a shot rang out, passing right past Joakim’s head. They all stared at the hole in the warehouse. It was the entire US fucking military. Sabaton, continued playing the music, but the other three Man, boy, skeleton jumped down the hell hole into hell.